Sunday, November 4, 2007

Been a while..

So, I think I'm gonna start using this thing again, and I think I should finally say somethings that I've had on my mind.
This whole pending divorce thing thats happening right now, I have no idea how to feel about it. First, I know I was just generally apathetic. She came into my life, and she'd be leaving, just that easy, just that simple. But then I got to thinking. Fuck man, divorce really sucks. Shellie left her home country, to come live with this man that for some inexplicable reason, she just completely fell in love with. She left her seriously ill, diabetic father, and only sees her family once a year, for this man. And now what is she left with. She can't even have people over, unless she's willing to tell them the reason why she's sleeping in the little room next to the master bedroom. She planned to start a new life here, with her masters degree in English, and now its gonna all be thrown away.
I guess it really hit me when one day I was mad that she couldn't give me a ride somewhere. I said "So your job is more important than your son?" and she said "Look, I need to the money." And I remember the tone in her vioce. Desperation. It shut me up pretty damn quick.
I dont even know how I'm supposed to respond to everthing thats happening. We're becoming even less and less of a family everyday. I won't even be having a Thanksgiving dinner this year, Dad's giong to mexico, and Shellies going with her friend to somewhere. Which leaves me...I dont even know.
I don't even know.

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